If you read my blog regularly you’ll know I’m on vacation with writing.
What is the difference between being on vacation with writing and not being on vacation?
When I’m not on vacation I have to do adult things like, make sense.
When I’m on vacation I get to do childish things like, not make sense.
I’m not an expert but it’s possible I will be someday and if I am what I’m about to say will actually be proven true.
That’s what the development of anything is about. Making sense half the time and not making sense the other half.
There’s lots of things I want to do that might never translate into any kind of success.
And when I say success I don’t mean it in a career sense.
I mean success in life. A degree of stability and fulfillment and a bit of a give and take with reality that lets me know I’m not totally insane. I’m able to function in the world and with the world.
I have friends and family and respect and opportunity and a life of sorts.
I’m not lost and fumbling and drowning in ridicule and out of options.
The basic life success.
Wanting to be a writer is that sort of delicate thing that can either lead towards success in life or lead towards becoming an insane homeless person.
Because writing is a double edged sword. It’s a thinking tool that can either help a person indulge their thoughts too much or question their thoughts too much.
So it requires consistent check ins with reality.
I’m not sure if what I’m saying is making sense. But I’m on vacation. So now is not the time to make sense.
Now is the time to follow interest and whim and let things get a little messy. Let consequences develop themselves rather than try to predict them.
This is what can get very dangerous about writing. In the beginning stages of writing something it gets very easy to overly indulge in projections.
When I first get my interest engaged in a project it’s because I’m excited about that project and I’m excited because I’ve created projections.
It is impossible not to create a projection when getting excited.
I’ve told myself a story and I can tell myself a story so much faster than I’m able to write about it.
I have feelings and ideas and even conclusions that will hit me long before I can fully process anything consciously.
Feelings move faster than thought.
Thought slows down feeling and writing slows down thinking.
Editing slows down writing.
The very difficult thing about writing, as I’ve noticed, whether it’s fiction or nonfiction, is that I can forget that motivation is a projection.
It is not a reality.
There is always a lot to develop from the very initial phases of feeling inspired.
And development is a rocky road.
I actually don’t know what I’m talking about anymore.
And I’m on vacation so I’ll figure that out in a later post.
Goodnight.
Jess lanai 