Jess lanai

Currently on an eight day streak on this blog. Going for a 30 day streak.

Why?

Because it’s a goal that doesn’t require too much energy. It’s only a month long so it’s not much commitment. And I’m currently very engaged. I’m enjoying it so committing for a month is easy.

That’s how I set goals now.

“If you have 100 problems get to 99.”

That’s a direct quote from Justin Sung. A YouTuber that helps people learn how to study.

I’m not sure if it’s his own saying or someone else he was quoting but either way it’s advice I love.

The idea of not solving everything all at once. Of taking one thing at time has fixed my brain and given me actual progress in life.

When everything shrinks down to only one thing I have to get done it does several things for me.

Most importantly for me personally is it takes away any intense stress or pressure.

Just not being stressed makes everything so much easier. I’m not only happier I perform better.

Everything I’ve accomplished has been done with low stress.

Everything I’ve tried to concur with high stress blew up in my face.

I went through a crazy period in my life where I thought writing would rescue me. That it would give me a career and make me feel better about myself. I thought it could give me an identity and a purpose.

Make me feel like not a loser.

Because of that really high and, if you think about it, really vague expectation I gave myself a ridiculous writing goal.

I wrote ten thousand words a day.

For people that aren’t trying to be writers ten thousand words a day is a lot.

The first Harry Potter book was seventy six thousand words. So at my pace J.k Rowling would have written Harry Potter in 8 days.

It was psychotic.

To get that many words a day done I basically couldn’t think. I had to ‘free write’ as they call it.

Free writing is a process in which you write without stopping no matter what.

Most of what comes out of free writing is complete and absolute nonsense

Some of the nonsense was actually pretty cool. I still like some of my nonsense.

But out of the five months I lasted writing ten thousand words a day (some days I cheated and only wrote eight thousand. Some days I really cheated and only did six thousand and the shame of that pumped me right back up to ten thousand) I finished nothing.

I do have like, several books that are about eighty thousand words or so of nonsense. Some cool nonsense. Some total nonsense. But all at the moment are totally useless.

All that work, torment and obsession got me no where.

I am a pretty obsessive type of personality.

I get really hooked on one show. One writer I want to read. One man I like. One hobby. One thing I want to do.

The difference now is I don’t expect anything to be the answer to anything.

I’ll write in this blog every day, get my thirty day streak in and see what I want to do next.