Jess lanai

Writing is not a talent.

It’s a one in ten thousand.

You try nine thousand nine hundred and ninety nine times and one time you get something right. One thing ends up making sense.

Dating can be quite a similar thing.

You see nine thousand nine hundred and ninety nine men and then that one man makes you want to go to your knees.

Life is worth the one in ten thousand.

The best thing about this blog is not how much I might get right but how much I might get wrong.

A lot can come from being wrong. It can build a very good foundation. Someone else could randomly read one of my very wrong thoughts and because of how wrong I am, be able to go to the exact opposite and be right.

Being so completely wrong that it mirrors in exact opposition what is right would be quite an accomplishment.

I could also look back on this blog in a decade and get a very right idea from a lot of very wrong things.

It’s impossible to know how things will develop. A little record or map of how they developed can be very helpful to myself and maybe even other people.

That is the value of this blog for me. A way to practice writing that’s not solo.

Solo writing is bad writing. The people that read the writing are what gives it its value.

The last challenge I did for this blog, was posting every day for 30 days.

The point of that was to work through the nerves.

Being wrong may be useful but it’s also embarrassing.

And writing is similar to acting in that sense. There’s an embarrassment reflex to work past. A self consciousness to overcome.

Posting every day for thirty days under my own name (I did cheat a bit and use my middle name instead of my last name in hopes no one I know will find me) did help me work through the anxieties.

How? Because I’m having fun with the blog. So it just becomes more important than if the best friend that dumped me finds this and reads it. Or if a guy I like finds it and reads it. Or if the people that have a vendetta against me find it and read it.

I’m too addicted now so my feelings sort of acclimate to the addiction.

Like they did with cigarettes. People’s opinions did not matter when it came to my cigarettes. Not remotely. No one could stop me from smoking until I decided to quit.

Which on that subject matter of addiction is why it is very important that I keep a goal with these blogs that serve a real purpose in my life.

Otherwise I will just spin my wheels and never really get anywhere.

So my new challenge with this blog is about practicing communicating and organizing real information. Rather than just my thoughts and opinions.

Real information. That I can actually seriously get wrong.

The subject matter I have chosen for this week is ASMR.

Why? Because I’ve already done a lot of research on it.

Why? Because I read a book on how to research and I used studying the history of ASMR to practice the advice I got from the research book.

There is also a way in which I think this blog will be of real use to real people.

I did very bad in school.

Very bad.

Most of my teachers did assume I was dumb.

How a dumb person learns can be of incredible value even to smart people.

So on top of practicing writing I want to document how I go from complete obliviousness to gaining an understanding of a subject.

My next post will be about how I started to study ASMR and the effect it has on the brain and why it became such a big thing.