I am much less of a bitch than I used to be.
I have better control. As long as I’m paying attention I can keep my face smiling and my tone even. I can slow down my speech and be patient.
When I’m paying attention.
I’m not always paying attention.
Being fake requires quite a bit of focus and energy and can only be maintained for short intervals.
Part of the reason having a boyfriend, or even just really liking a man, is so helpful is because it gives me a lot of the energy I’m losing throughout the day.
Because when I like a man I get to be one hundred percent authentic. I don’t have to back peddle, pretend, fake or control.
I can just let myself go to full capacity.
I tend to like very dominate type men because it means I get to stop monitoring myself. I get to let the man monitor me. He can tell me when I need to shut up. Or I’m being too much or when I need a good spanking.
For me personally dominance is a big part of attraction.
What I considered dominant is probably not what most people think of when they think of a dominant man.
Best way for me to describe it is what the lack of dominance feels like.
Men take up a lot of space.
I can feel when a man walks into a room before I even see him.
It’s very cumbersome and the more I feel like I have to carry the weight of a man’s presence, the more unattractive he is.
What the hell does carry his weight mean?
Men can feel like a lot of work. By a lot of work I mean I can feel like I have to accommodate them.
Like I can’t be myself if I want to please them and if I don’t please them they will cause me issues.
A man that feels very cumbersome is one that makes me feel restricted.
Like he is easy to offend and my words have to be carefully chosen. My body language has to be open and warm. I have to smile.
I can’t be a bitch or he will react emotionally.
Emotion is dangerous. It’s not logical. It’s not looking at things from multiple perspectives. It can’t be reasoned with.
So a man too deep in his emotions just reads like trouble.
Not every woman likes the type of men I do. We’re all different.
But I think it’s pretty universal that none like a man that makes them feel restricted.
Makes us feel like we have to be fake to interact with them.
Some women might call it a fragile ego. Some women even call it the patriarchy or they call it the reason they hate men.
I don’t agree with them. I think men that react too much to their emotions are exactly like women that react too much to their emotions.
Women are just easier for women to deal with.
A man is very attractive when his presence feels lighter.
It’s the difference between a man who has a sense of humor and a man that’s trying to be funny.
The funny guy needs you to laugh. The guy with a sense of humor is laughing himself.
When a man takes away that weight of feeling like we need to accommodate his feelings he becomes more attractive.
I want to make sure I don’t give the wrong message here. Especially since I think it’s mostly men reading my blog.
Every single human being on the planet is too much in their feelings sometimes. It’s not possible to not get lost and overreact or feel hurt and get a little damage on your ego.
That is impossible. It’s going to happen. People will always lose control.
No one is supposed to have no feelings. Or never get offended. Or act cool and suave all the time.
But if you take your shit out too much on other people it will bite you. We learn a degree of control and manners to get along with the world so the world doesn’t beat our ass.
Jess lanai 