Doing these blogs is a bit of a risk. I’m talking about things I could have left buried. Stirring the bottom of the pot and I don’t know what it’ll bring up.
But I’m having fun.
So I’m going to keep stirring the pot.
I have not figured out men. I’m still single when my greatest desire since I was eighteen has been to have a man.
I’ve miserably failed in that particular area.
If someone wanted to condense it all down to the headline all it can say is, ‘Jessica is still single’
But headlines are for other people.
They don’t really do much for me myself.
It would be very easy for me to not be single and change that headline.
But I’d have to go against my instincts.
Women have a lot of very dark instincts that we don’t much acknowledge and when they don’t get acknowledged they are given full control.
I’ve learned to be preemptive for myself. I can’t step outside certain boundaries if I want to remain sane.
Sometimes going insane is useful and I’ll let that out every once in a while too.
But where I must adhere to my boundaries is men.
I have a lot of boundaries around men because they are a very powerful influence. They can be as beneficial as they can be dangerous.
So there’s a complex mixing of desire and resistance.
One that I’m sure is very confusing for men.
Especially decent men.
Here’s the best way I can describe it for you.
A woman’s darkest instinct is our instinct to create a safe environment. It is a very exhausting instinct that is always running in the background on everything.
The greatest gift men give is that they can satiate that instinct. Make it feel complete so it shuts the fuck up.
Really high attraction to a man for some reason I don’t understand shuts that instinct up. Makes it happy and makes it leave us alone.
What I’m talking about here is a bit delicate. I don’t want men getting the wrong idea.
Lots of women like very dominant men that can endure our resistance. A lot of us (not all of us) like the idea of giving the man full control.
A lot of women like to resist and be pursued by a man we like.
But there is a fantasy version of this and a real version of this.
The real version is simple. It’s done in a partnership where real trust has been built with real communication so the man has actually been given control.
Then there is the fantasy version.
I have to go to work. Plus I’m not entirely sure how to translate what I’m trying to say.
It might take me several posts.
I think it’s something people (both men and women) are still trying to adapt to. The dating environment these days seems like it might be different than it’s ever been.
I personally don’t think different is bad. It just creates different advantages and different disadvantages that we have to figure out how to adapt to.
Jess lanai 